So today I told my brother I wasn’t going to let him use my laptop and he swore he would get me back. An hour later I realized he was missing but I didn’t care and then the doorbell rang and I went to see who it was and here he was…
(via feels-so-real)
did you know if you say bloody marry 3 times in the mirror at 1am your mom will tell you to shut the fuck up and go to bed
(via tranquilasunset)
80 years from now;
Me: //falls//
Granddaughter: GRANDMA ARE YOU OKAY?
Me: //laughs// HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP
Granddaughter: Grandma this isn't the time for your old 2000 jokes!
Me: WATCH OUT WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE
Granddaughter: GRANDMA!
Me: YOLO
"Everybody smiles with that invisible gun to their heads."
- Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club (via pheisty)
(Source: incisio, via punctually-particular)
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